Going gray gracefully

I am just weeks away from my 46th birthday, I await it with great anticipation. Not because of the age, but because I have always looked forward to birthdays and what the day may hold. Being 46 is just a number, my age has never been anything I really think about. I believe you are as old as you choose to feel and I choose to feel ageless, at least most days. But, along with getting older comes the inevitable things we can't control. Wrinkles, bladder control, memory loss, gray hair, etc. I personally only suffer from all these things. Just kidding, really all I have so far is the gray hair, oh, and my eyesight is getting worse, but that's about it.
So I have colored my hair for years, first to cover a little gray and then still, to cover the increasing gray. It was with a small amount of surprise that I realized a few months ago that under all this color, I am actually completely gray. Now I have been quite lucky in the hair department. My hair is thick, shiny, easy to care for, and always one of my best features, but my once black hair began to fade to dark brown, then lighter brown, and then gray. it's not even actually gray, it's more silver. So, a couple of months ago I decided to just let it go. Fortunately for me, I have short hair so as the color has grown out, I only have a couple inches of color in contrast to my gray. But as I look at my hair today, the gray part is now almost as long as the colored. A couple more haircuts, and I will be solid silver.
Other than the daily reminder that I am not as young as I used to be, there are other things that have shifted as my hair color has changed. Where once people looked me in the eye, or the chest, depending on the different people I was speaking to, people now look at my hair. It is usually just a quick, occasional glance, but I see it. The women that do it have three basic reactions. the first is to glance quickly and then back to my face, hoping that I didn't notice. the second is people who, upon noticing, offer me the name or number of their hairstylist, as if they seem to think that my lack of coloring is somehow associated with my lack of a hairdresser. And the third are the people who notice and say, "wow, you're really gray", as if I wasn't aware of it in some way. Thanks for the news flash folks! The other differences are that at my work, the young girls that work for me have began to treat me more motherly, meaning that they suddenly seem to think I am wiser than I was 6 months ago. But my personal favorite is when customers are describing me to other managers or associates. The description that used to be given for me was usually "the woman with the short, dark hair", whereas now, I have become "the older woman". Granted, I am the oldest in the store, but not by much. And people rarely mistake me for Noah's mom anymore, they all seem to magically know, I am grandma. That's new the last couple of months also.
I have never been one of those women who wants to run away from who I am, or what I am. Give me the wrinkles, give me the gray hair, and all the other things that come with age. You will never see me having plastic surgery, botox, or any other type of procedure to hang on to my youth. I have had quite a journey to this point in my life, learned many things. And one of the things I've learned is I don't want to do my youth over again. Not even my 20's or my 30's. I feel blessed to be where I am in my life, right now, in this moment. Except for one thing-what the hell is with the gray eyebrow hairs?!?!? Those I go a little crazy over!
I am secretly looking forward to turning 50. Not because I will have made it a half century or because it is a landmark birthday or any of those reasons. No, I'm anticipating it for one thing and one thing only-somebody, somewhere, better throw me one helluva surprise party! You only turn 50 once.